Oh man

I knew from the first of the year that God was doing a new work in me. He was breaking down walls and barriers in my life. I accepted it and welcomed this change. We're now in April and i have seen what God is doing in me. He has given me the vision to write and share my story. He is working with me to break the wall down that i have built up to harbor my thoughts and feelings. He is allowing me to speak freely of things that i was once ashamed of. Most importantly, he is giving me a chance to tell my testimony by way of a book. I see now that i am also being tested when it comes to conversing with new friends. God is like, are you going to revert back into your box or use the opening that i have created and break free and be You again? I am being me, AGAIN!


God is great!

New Beginnings

I'm in such a great and happy place this month of March. I've been in such a happy and thankful season since the first of the year. I know that it will continue on during the rest of the year and will end great. Ose o Jesu

There are many things that i want but are out of my control so i'm left to be patient. I'll tell you this, having patience is teaching me growth. 

If i could have everything, i put it on everything, that it would be You - Trey Songz

Feelings are for the birds

Well, i guess i'm a bird right now...

Why isn't it easy for people to speak on how they truly feel (myself included)?

Now  playing: Drake - Trust Issues

I've been so used to certain things than when change is in front of me i become a skeptic. I start to wonder how real is the change and how long will it last. Is it temporary or permanent? I become fixated on trying to figure out what is really happening? Once i find out that the change is real and here to stay, that's when i start to slowly put my wall down. Cus you know, there's no point in my letting my wall down for change that isn't here to stay.

I'm very well reserved. I like to read and study people. I'll study you well enough to the point where i know whether or not i can trust you. If i can't trust you i'll keep you close and never share any intimate stories with you. If i do trust you, i'll tell you everything...in due time.

Be patient with me.

When i look into your eyes i see:

hope
a future
love
happiness
kindness
peace
security
will
power
sincerety
excitement
warmth
eternity

A million words between us will never be enough. I don't want to rush what we have because i don't want to run out of time. But if time does run out, I'll breathe you in and hold you in forever. I hope you'll still look at me and feel the same way about me a year from now, three years from now, four kids from now, and forevermore. I pray we never run out of time.

I'll keep you young at heart while we become old lovers together.

This one is for you...

How is it so that you can tell how much love and care a person has for you just by staring into their eyes? Is it fair that I know what's in front of me is a good thing. How do i know i'm not just enjoying this new thing momentarily? And then what?

With my flaws and all you still call me beautiful.

I've never had anyone tell me repeatedly how beautiful i am [expect my mother] and mean it.
I've never had anyone long for me without first meeting my acquaintance.

All of the things i don't yet know about you, i'm intrigued to learn.

I want to become you. I want to be able to read your face and know when something is the matter before you even open your mouth to speak. I want to be your best friend.

You've known me longer than i've known you. You refer to me in your future as "we" and i know that you mean it.

Thank you for making me feel the way you're making me feel.

Thank you for being sincere.

I think you're beautiful too.

I like it.

I love it.

I'll support you. I'll turn your frowns to smiles. I'll care for you. I'll dance for you. I'll love you. Forever.