i miss having a diary to write in sometimes, and then i remember that just the thought of it sounds nice but the reality is that i will be too lazy to even pick up a pen and jot down my thoughts. So what happens now? I think and continue to think to the point where it makes me tired and overwhelmed. And then i remembered that i have a blog and it's purpose is to serve as an open me sort of and kind of, plus its easier for me to type and much faster (majority of the time while i'm at work i do nothing, so i'm turning the nothing into something; blogging).
"Fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need, and I've just retired from the fantasy part..." I've quoted this quote too many times that you would think i understood what it means-and i do, but [there's always a but] it always sounded good to say it and hear it. Remember when Prof. Carter was giving out quotes at the end of Summer Bridge? well mine was "Listening isn't always hearing" [i'm going off tangent here] and it refers to this case. Any who, recent events and predicaments have made me think of the fantasy quote by my favorite artist of all time Lauryn Hill and it has helped. I find that i am the most happy when people around me are happy [not once thinking and doing for myself] but that just has to do with my meek [hey now, the meek shall inherit the earth] spirit. Self love, what is it? You truly have to learn to love/know yourself before you give it off to someone else. Know what makes you happy, what makes you who you are and why you are. You have to learn to know what it's like to be alone before you go running off to someone for comfort and companionship. But are you/we really alone? Come back to your first love, Jesus! Unlike the many worthless people around, he will never forsake you and even when you turn your back on him he's still around. Even though it feels so much better to think of fantasies rather than to face the harsh reality of truth we fail to recognize that as much as we fantasize, it still is what is is, only a fantasy. Not everything can be smooth and easy and that is why i am facing reality with an armor on and i am ready to go! [i had a whole lot more to say but i've lost all the train of thought i had going on. so i'm going to leave and try to unscramble the words in my head hoping they make sense]
sidenote: Trh i miss our late night talks about reality and what makes us happy and who we want to be :-(
He'll never put more on me than i can bare.. and that's real
p&p
