December 29th, 2010

I can't believe the year is over already! I feel like it was only a couple months ago when i moved out on my own and my family moved elsewhere out of state. I feel as though it was only a couple months ago when i was loved and in love by a special someone. Honestly, i am glad this year is already at a wrap. I am moving on and so should the year. Gosh, 2010 had it's ups and downs for me, unfortunately more downs and ups. But it's all good though, i know 2011 will be a good year for me [not to sound cliche] because i'm graduating college [i've been waiting forever for this].

Anywho, Happy New Year in advance.



Now playing Tank - I Can't Make You Love Me

This goes out to my sister

So High (Remix) - Lauryn Hill

Motherless Child

I had a conversation with my girl today who's trying to conquer something that she feels is way beyond her. Today she asked me "how did you get over it? i wish i was as strong as you are." I had to let her know that i wasn't always this strong, i knew i had the strength in me but it took a while to finally let it surface. I told her that i was in a state of turmoil and depression for a while and it wasn't until one day that something clicked in me, and ever since that day i haven't been the same and will never be the same. To those of you out there who are struggling with demons or fighting change, stand firm and with the armor of God. Believe in yourself and find the inner strength in you that has probably been pushed down by others. Love yourself. That's all that matters, YOU. When you hurt, you do so alone. Believe in yourself. Know that you are capable of doing things others have said you can't. I believe in you.

A little humor during finals week

Say Ahhhhh

Say Ahhhh

Proverb

"To err is human; to forgive, divine."

I love ME

how can i keep saying that i'm over it and you but yet i continue to dwell on the past
i'm doing nothing but damaging my mental by not moving forward
i've been in an awesomely great mood since Friday night
a lot of it has to do with watching For Colored Girls
THERE IS A WAY OUT
i made that way out for myself when i finally did something i had been afraid to do for months
i know now that there is no turning back
this is an affirmation to myself.. everything is going to be okay... everything has been okay.. accept it, claim it, live it
my good days have been outweighing my bad and darling, I WILL NOT COMPLAIN
throw what you want my way and I WILL OVERCOME
say what you want to say about me and I WILL BRUSH IT OFF
see it takes more than a broken heart to keep me from SMILING
YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY JOY, i won't allow you
it's as if i had pity on myself, only speaking of what i want to do and be but never actually doing and becoming it.
i've gone on everyday for the past 3 months not knowing how much of a good thing i did
i don't have any regrets
i just know that i still have myself.. i stayed true to the character that i have grown up to be
yes the tears fall from my eyes
and i wipe each one away
who says soldiers don't cry?
because honey, i cry every time i'm alone and don't understand things
we all have our PUBLIC, PERSONAL, and PRIVATE selves
the public is the self you portray when you're outdoors (work, school..), the way you dress, speak
your personal self is the person you show when around close friends and family
and lastly, the private self is the person you are when you are alone, the person that you may be truly at war with
i have come to learn that my public and personal are the same person
it's time to get my private self on board
i realized that my private self was alone and in tears... my private self was needing to be rescued
in the midst of my emotional breakdowns i'm still living, and that is why I ROCK


two things i carry, POISE AND PURPOSE

HATE is such a strong word and i won't use it towards you because i'm not going to give you that much power. I'm taking back my peace of mind.